Dream XCVII

Troubled by bouts of frequent urination at night, I had a bunch of friends search the internet for solutions.

One friend found the story of Joseph Biroc, a Polish man who called himself Captain Bowie, who could urinate over the time it took to play David Bowie's "Berlin" trilogy. I reasoned that if he could do that, he might know the secret of the opposite, how to hold urine for a reasonable length of time. I read the article with interest to see if there was a way to contact Mr. Biroc.

"Oh, wait," someone said. "It turns out this article is from 2009." It was then further discovered that Mr. Biroc had claimed that the Berlin Trilogy was his own work, to the point where David Bowie was forced to sue him and get him to discontinue his act. As a result, Mr. Biroc would no longer talk about those days, and in fact refused to meet with the general public at all.

As I rose to go to the bathroom once more, I was saddened. A solution seemed so close, and now it was so far away again.