Dream LXI

On a popular Internet forum, the founder had created a brief intro for a fake cartoon show to be aired on cable television. The intro showed Mickey Mouse putting on an orange wig and lipstick, then striking a feminine pose against an orange background. The show was called, "This Kind Of Appeals to Me."

The forum founder told us we should all draw other characters with these same characteristics. Some folks drew tiny Transformers and other action figures. Other Disney characters, Goofy in particular, told me he was sad because he couldn't make his mouth really small, so he'd never be able to play. I tried to assure him that this wasn't true, that of course he could be on the show.

I was making an orange apartment for the various altered characters, and I needed something from my apartment. I started climbing up the long path up the side of a mountain to my apartment. Immediately behind me, a woman on a cell phone kept saying things that sounded like she was describing what I was doing. Every time I turned to look at her, though, she turned away so I couldn't see her.

On the way up, I passed a very expensive digital camera that someone had left on the path. I recalled that the camera had been here for a couple of days, so no one had just left it momentarily. I wondered for a moment if it might be my camera, but when I picked it up and looked through the viewfinder, I knew it was different. The camera had an audio feature which it used to talk about its various features in an unending stream.

I decided I'd take the camera, and I continued going up the mountain. Even though the weather was warm and sunny, the path was suddenly very slippery, as if covered with a thin layer of ice. I finally made it back to my apartment, and realised that I really ought to take the camera to the "Lost and Found" area of the main apartment complex, which was down near the base of the mountain. Rather than risk the slippery path, though, I thought I'd drive back down.

I put the camera in the car and took my own camera as well (for proof) and released the emergency brake, and we started sliding down the mountain road. In a panic, I slammed my foot on the brake, and even engaged the emergency brake as well, but nothing would stop the car from going backwards down the hill.

The other cars seemed to know I was in trouble and took pains to avoid me. Pedestrians, on the other hand, were taking advantage of the slippery road to "ski" and "skate" downhill. One old lady laughed as she passed me, skating and spinning as she headed toward the bottom.

I kept going, passing the main complex (with the Lost and Found department), travelling backwards through an intersection, and finally coming to rest when the street became more level.

I breathed a sigh of relief that I hadn't smashed into anything. Just then, my cellphone rang. It was a woman claiming that I had her digital camera. I explained that I was on my way to the Lost and Found to drop it off there, where she could claim it. She seemed angry that I hadn't already done this. I got angry at her lack of gratitude.